Criticism is very natural in the workplace environment. Especially, when you opt for a leadership role, you automatically sign up for the criticism that comes along with it, even if you don't want it. People can criticize you for the pettiest things. It can be in any form like direct/indirect comments, challenges, feedback, in-person, anonymous notes. Sometimes it's terrible even to affect your mental health. But on the flip side, If no one has ever criticized you, that means you are going on the wrong track. Whenever you choose to take stand for something or start leading upfront, you will be criticized. It's a part of your role. Many companies do not have a feedback culture, or employees are not trained to give and take criticism in a healthy manner. But there is definitely an opportunity as an individual to take negative/positive feedback for their well-being.

Criticism is inevitable and unavoidable, yet, the choice of how to handle criticism is yours.

With the right perspective, it can become constructive feedback. Though criticism is not easy to handle, here are 5 healthy ways to practice to ensure you handle criticism gracefully.

Let's get started!

1. Listen Closely

When hitting with criticism, listening to other's perspectives may change how you originally saw the situation. It’s a good way to understand where they’re coming from before moving forward on a solution.

Listen carefully and closely, then ask yourself a couple of questions.

Is there any truth in it? A small piece of truth? Is it a complete surprise to you?

Sometimes there is no truth, but mostly there is, maybe in a different form, perhaps a tiny seed of wrongness is about to grow. Even if there is no truth you see, but just ask your friends, supporters, colleagues, they may see the same as your critic sees. And you can correct it.

Often, there is a small opportunity your critic gave you to look within, a critic can sometimes help us become more self-aware.

Being self-aware is not the absence of mistakes, but the ability to learn and correct them.

There’s nothing wrong with making mistakes, but making the same mistakes over and over because you refuse to listen to criticism and learn, is just stupid.

2. Don’t React Immediately

Every time you get a rough email, a critical comment, a bad text, or a harsh phone call, something happens inside you, is it?

Your heart starts beating faster. You feel anxious, you feel hurt, even miserable depending on what it says.

But hold on, just hold on. Take a step back, and evaluate the situation/email/text/phone call or comment. Be patient, don’t react impulsively. Leaders must practice patience when faced with criticism and should show a high level of composure and presence of mind. When faced with any kind of criticism, often many leaders get defensive, and overreact, rather than assessing the situation in hand.

In order to address the situation, they almost always make it worse by reacting immediately and irrationally.

A couple of years ago, my mentor told me to have a rule. The rule states, "Whenever you feel an emotional reaction to criticism, don’t respond immediately". Give yourself time. Get up from your seat or where ever you are, just move from that place, take a couple of deep breaths. Do not rush to reply back to the comments, It's always possible to avoid replying back for a couple of hours or a day".

This is easy in the case of a written comment or email. But even when there’s a verbal exchange, just swallow the pride, grit your teeth. Say a little or nothing. Don’t respond. Just say thank you and dismiss.

Maturity is to know when to act and when not to react.

This way you’ve time to think about it. If needed talk to a few wise friends/mentors about how to respond with grace and integrity.

After a few hours, You get your brain back. A day or hours later, you can respond reasonably and rationally to something that you once could only respond to overemotionally.

Well done! You’ve gained wisdom.

3. Don’t Play The Victim

When criticism strikes, never take on as “victim” attitude. People find it difficult to respect a leader who plays the victim.

The victimization mentality is not a leadership attribute, but rather represents an individual that lacks the mental solitude and composure to be in a leadership role. 

People with a victim mentality believe that all of their problems and misfortunes can be blamed on someone or something else. If a person is constantly blaming others for their failings at work and in life, it starts to affect team morale and productivity.

Do not play victim, do not make yourself look pitiful and do not point the finger. Stand and deal with it.

When leaders play to the victim narrative, it exposes their lack of maturity and doubts rapidly begin to enter the minds of those they lead about their ability to endure the pressure, intensity, and uncertainty. Rather than play the victim, own the criticism and convert it into new opportunities previously unseen. Be a change and turn the negativity into a platform of growth, innovation, and endless possibilities.

4. Don’t Take It Personally

Never take negative feedback about your work or profession of "you" as a person. Do not feel targetted.

This is where emotional intelligence can be a leader’s favorable trait. Do not let bad comments adversely affect your self-esteem.

Do not take things too personally. Rarely do people do things because of you.

The more you’d take things personally, the more difficult it would be to objectively assess the various situations you’d encounter at work, and the more challenging it would be to build authentic, fruitful professional relationships.

A bad situation or hardship can make you or break you, but on top of that, it reveals your character. Criticism is a never-ending process. How well you lead through it is what earns you respect from your peers. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and has things to learn. Of course, that includes you too.

5. See criticism as constructive feedback

While the word “criticism” may be seen more frequently when discussing negative ratings, but here is the key, not all criticism comes with bad intentions — even when it highlights mistakes and failures.

When one takes criticism as help, people give certain kinds of criticism to help. This is known as constructive criticism. Constructive criticism is about finding something good and positive to soften the blow to the real critique of what really went on.

Over the past years, one of the most important qualities which I have learned in leadership is being a good listener. Especially when being criticized. Do not try to shut the voice running in your mind, instead listen to it as much as possible, what it is trying to tell you. In one of the book, I have read that, "Listening to criticism is a leadership responsibility that does not appear in the job description, but it can make you a more effective and trustworthy leader if you handle it constructively."

Have you ever stop to think about what would happen if you never get any feedback from anyone, would you ever improve? Positive feedback is a pleasure to take, and its motivating too. But negative feedback is the one which builds us emotionally strong. Take criticism as a helping tool to grow professionally.

It's important to avoid any accusations of discrimination, bullying, or unfair treatment. If the person delivering the message is acting very aggressive, confrontational, or unprofessional, be sure to bring it to the attention of HR or a manager.

If you can be mindful and follow these tips, you may find the path for growth and success in your career as a leader. These steps can also help you in all areas of your life, whenever you are in a situation of taking negative comments or feedback.

Have you ever received negative feedback in a way that was helpful personally or professionally? Do write to me in the comment below.

I would love to hear your feedback :-)